Chief Charlie Swan Facts

   Today I thought I would do another one of those Fact joke posts. I came up with this one about my favorite character from the Twilight series, Chief Charlie Swan.

• Behind Chief Charlie Swan's mustache is fist
• Chief Charlie Swan once got into a fight with Chuck Norris, the loser had to grow a beard.
• Chief Charlie Swan can Slam a Revolving Door.
• Ladies open doors for Chief Charlie Swan.
• Chief Charlie Swan's mustache has a mind of its own.
• Charlie Swan doesn't act like a patriot, a patriot acts like Charlie Swan
• If you have $5 and Charlie Swan has $5, Charlie Swan has more money than you
• Charlie Swan doesn't like his meat rare, He likes common meat like a cow
• Guns don't kill people, Charlie Swan kills people
• There's only one thing Charlie Swan can't do, which is lose
• The perfect bedtime story goes like this, Once upon a time, Chief Charlie Swan, The End
• Chief Charlie Swan can handle the truth.
• Chief Charlie Swan can hear silence
• Charlie Swan knows where Carmen Sandiego is.
• Chief Charlie Swan is the reason why Waldo is Hiding
• Charlie Swan can light a fire underwater
• Charlie Swan's mustache is made of steel
• Charlie Swan has bigger balls of Steel than Duke Nukem
• Chief Charlie Swan can shoot the dog in Duck Hunt
• Charlie Swan once Grounded Bella for life. She is still serving that sentence.
• Chief Charlie Swan traveled from Forks Washington to Pennsylvania to Arrest Jerry Sandusky
• Charlie Swan can Pump his own gas in New Jersey
• If Chief Charlie Swan had a weakness his name would be Superman
• Chief Charlie Swan uses a Federal Signal Thunderbolt as his alarm clock
• Charlie Swan can make a Paraplegic run for their life... in that case Billy Black
• Charlie Swan's tears can cure cancer. Too bad he never cries
• Chief Charlie Swan can fire a Colt Single Action Army in double action
• Chief Charlie Swan can shoot 12 rounds out of a six shooter
• Chief Charlie Swan is the only person who can deflect Chuck Norris' Roundhouse Kick
• Chief Charlie Swan has conducted more Drug busts than any other police chief in the United States.
• Charlie Swan can order a Big Mac at Burger King and get it
• Charlie Swan can order a Whopper at McDonald's and Get it.
• Charlie Swan can videotape a train and not get into trouble. 
• Charlie Swan is the only person who can try this at home.
• Charlie Swan is The Most Interesting Man in The World