Every Steven Seagal Movie is the Same

 While coming in from outside, my mom and dad were watching a Steven Seagal movie on Spike when it occurred to me that every Steven Seagal Movie is exactly the same. Here's why.

Hmmm this looks familiar.

1. The DVD box art is basically the same thing over and over again. Lets take a look here. Ok so the picture is a movie poster for On  Deadly Ground not a DVD Box so you get the picture. Do you notice anything familiar about it? If you do notice what is familiar about it is that Steven Seagal is holding a gun. He holds a gun in almost every DVD box art and movie poster with the exception of Under Siege. Another overused feature of his movies box art are explosions. He is always holding a gun while an explosion goes off in the background.
2. The plot. What do Steven Seagal movies and Lifetime movies have in common? They have basically recycle the same plot over and over again. Lets take a look at your typical Lifetime movie. Every Lifetime movie has one or all of 4 elements. A. The Lifetime movie is about a woman being beaten by her abusive husband or boyfriend. B. The Lifetime movie is about a woman being raped and wants to get revenge on the rapist. C. The Lifetime movie is about a woman getting killed. D. The woman is being stalked. Now lets look at the typical plot of a Steven Seagal movie. A. Steven Seagal's character has to get revenge on a bad guy. B. Something has happened to his daughter and wants to get revenge on the bad guys who harmed her. Doesn't this remind you of the recurring Lifetime movie elements? C. Steven Seagal has to kick the shit out of the people who have harmed who Steven Seagal is protecting. D. EVERY ONE of his movies is about REVENGE!!!

I Rest my case

3. Nothing is original about his movies due to the fact that the same plot is recycled for only to insert a person place or thing for who was harmed and insert a person place or thing who caused the harm and who Steven Seagal needs to get revenge on. Very Original and Cleaver. WROOONG!!!  It's like the people who write this stuff have ran out of ideas.
  So there you have it. I just explained why every Steven Seagal movie is exactly the same. I just like to tell it how it is.