Monday, January 31, 2011

Fullscreen Sucks

 Yesterday after I got home from work and finished studying, I turned on the TV and caught a movie called Evelyn. It was presented in fullscreen instead of widescreen. Now what really annoyed me was that me being a fan of widescreen, I realized how bad fullscreen really is. In the movie there was a scene where they were driving. In that scene the driver was talking but all you saw was the passenger listening and talking. Seriously? This is exactly why fullscreen sucks you LOSE picture, hence the screen before the film, This film has been modified from its original version, it has been formatted to fit this screen. Now in 2011 this should be an obsolete phrase because a majority of Americans now own Widescreen TV's. However I do own a widescreen TV, but my parents were watching it in the living room. So I have to go up to my attic and watch my 4:3 RCA TV. That really doesn't bother me. what bothers me is that 99.9% of all new TV shows and Channels have switched to the Widescreen picture format. Now if they show a 16x9 TV show don't you think that they would show a widescreen movie?
   So at the commercial break, I went on IMDB to see what the film's aspect ratio was. It was 2.35:1. It looked horrible in fullscreen. So I turned on NBC to see what was on and they were showing National Treasure 2 Book of Secrets in Fullscreen. Why do they show it in fullscreen if all of NBC's Shows are in widescreen. So I put Evelyn back on and finished watching it. So the moral of the story is Fullscreen is Bad!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

UPS Mail Innovations Sucks

   Last Thursday I ordered a Mickie James figure from and they shipped it via UPS Mail Innovations. Its been a week since the item shipped and I still haven't got it. This shipping service is a piece of shit and I really mean it. If the toy was shipped via regular UPS it would have got here by now.
   Lets reference Animaniacs for a second. Remember those Good Idea Bad Idea segments? Well this is one of those. Good Idea, shipping a package through USPS. Bad Idea, letting UPS ship the package through the USPS. I never heard of this bullshit shipping service before so I was curious to find out more about this UPS Mail Innovations. So I Googled UPS Mail Innovations and found out they have real shitty reviews. I really mean shitty.
   In September I ordered a T-shirt from a website, It was shipped via FedEx Smartpost. I am going to do a comparison here between UPS and FedEx's mail services. With FedEx I got my T-shirt in a week. With UPS it's been a week and I still haven't got it. If FedEx is faster than UPS, wouldn't UPS try to be faster?

Well that answer is no in my opinion. Because mail is not really a priority to UPS. If I was waiting for a heart for a transplant and it was being shipped UPS Mail Innovations I would be dead by now.
  Another problem with this service is the tracking info. Since I work part time and go to college part time, I have time on my hands to track a package. Although most people don't have time to do so. They shipped the package on the Friday the 21st of January. and the tracking info wasn't updated from that time since until Tuesday the 26th. When I get something shipped via regular UPS tracking info is updated constantly. This is ironic since UPS is the largest courier service. You would think that they would be consistent with all of their parcels being shipped.
   If I could sue them for every day that I suffer without my Mickie James Diva figure. I just want my darn figure already.

Sunday, January 23, 2011

Handy Tak Sucks.

When we first moved in to my grandfathers house after he died, i wanted to hang pictures of NASCAR drivers on my wall. My mom and dad didn't want any holes knocked into the plaster walls. So my mother recommended Handy Tak from Super Glue. Boy was this a mistake. Handy Tak looks like hardened yellow gum that is supposed to be an adhesive. My sister in law swears by this garbage. So my mom got some of this terrible product from her. So I put it on the back of an old Delaware license plate, and for the most part it stuck on but after like a day it fell off the freaking wall. So I thought if I put more of this garbage called Handy Tak it would hold the license plate. WRONG. It didn't so after 4.8 years of living in my house i had a gob of this Handy Tak in my attic. I haven't touched the stuff in years. So after buying another Lady Gaga poster at FYE for $2 and $16 on a frame I decided I should give Handy Tak a try again. I put 4 balls of the adhesive on the 4 corners of the poster frame, stuck it to the wall, and walked away. The moment that I turned my back on the poster, it fell off the wall. I then stormed downstairs to look for a better product, I had 3M in my mind. I then found Scotch Mounting squares which didn't do a better job either. So In the long run STAY AWAY from HANDY TAK!!!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

Superman Is an Illegal Immigrant

  I hate to be a bearer of bad news but I'm afraid I have no choice to tell you this. I was talking to my friend at work yesterday when I was mentioning when superheros who come from other planets are illegal immigrants and how would they document where they were from. I happened to mention that America's favorite superhero Superman is an illegal immigrant.
  1. He came from another planet. When his spaceship crash landed on Earth from Krypton he was found in field by his adoptive parents. Now if you found a baby boy in a field somewhere with no form of ID whatsoever wouldn't you just call the authorities such as the police dept or the FBI. No they just take him in without reporting anything to the authorities.
   2. How would you get him a Social Security card, birth certificate, and birth records, when you find a baby from an alien planet in a field without raising eyebrows from government officials? Simply its a fictional universe but i am going to nitpick on this like this is in the real world. Superman's adoptive parents couldn't just adopt a baby that they found without him being put in some kind of foster care first. Legally you could not adopt a baby that was abandoned on your doorstep without the proper legal procedures. So in order to get their baby a birth certificate, Social Security card and other important paperwork they would have to go to someone who forges documents.
   3. Wouldn't people who know his adoptive parents be suspicious of where they got the baby? For all they know they could have kidnapped the baby. All of a sudden having a baby would raise questions because the adoption process is a long process with all of the legal stuff.
   4. Why isn't the US Government concerned that the fact that Superman is obviously an illegal immigrant due to the fact that everyone knows he is from Krypton? Maybe the government gives amnesty to heroes who are illegal immigrants. On top of that the US Government cannot deport his ass back to Krypton because it exploded. So I guess the government loves American icons so much that they don't care.

Friday, January 21, 2011

The Pains Cereal Box Prizes

 When I was a kid I remember seeing a toy that came with the box of cereal. I would beg my mom to buy me the cereal she said I will buy it for you only if you will finish the box. Naturally I agreed to the deal. When I would go home from the store, the first thing I would do would rip open the box of cereal to get the toy out. Ironically its not the toy you hoped on getting.
   You see the problem with cereal box prizes that are promoting a new movie is that they don't mass produce the popular ones. I remember 10 years ago when Kellogg's had diving subs that were based on vehicles from Atlantis the Lost Empire. If I remember correctly there were 5 subs all together. There was the Leviathan, the fishy shaped one, and a crayfish shaped one. Then there were the Ulysses and the sub pod subs. Now the problem here was in my theory that the Atlantean shaped diving subs were produced in higher numbers than the submarine used by the expedition team. You would think that everyone wants the Ulysses one. Well guess what I was one of them who wanted it. I never got it. Damn Kellogg's makes more of the less popular toys so we have to suffer.
    Another problem with cereal box prizes is the chance of getting doubles of a prize. Back in 2004 I remember when General Mills was putting Hot Wheels cars in their cereals to promote the Cheerios NASCAR team and Richard Petty. Naturally Hot Wheels cars and anything related to Richard Petty means I have to have it. We bought the boxes of cereal and at first i started cars that I did not have. Then I started to get doubles. I kept getting that pesky 1970 Chex  Plymouth Barracuda Hardtop. I must of got like 3 of those bastards. I needed to collect all 10 cars. Until 2010 I had only 9 out of the 10 cars. I was missing the 1974 Dodge Charger in the Cheerios livery. I finally completed the set when I went to a party at my parents friends house when their grandson gave me the car because he never plays with it.
    I have since stopped going ape shit for Cereal box toys in 2009 when General Mills started using Lego for their NASCAR promos. I love Lego but the stuff in the cereal box isn't made by Lego. So Screw it and fuck cereal box toys. They are evil and a waste of money.

Thursday, January 20, 2011

Mattel Vs Jakks Pacific

I just bought the new spring action WWE Superstar Raw ring by Mattel. I can assure you that this ring is way better than the junk that Jakks Pacific makes. I already have the Jakks Pacific Rocky III ring and that is one of the worst rings I have ever had. I got my first WWE Raw ring when I was 8 years old back in 1997 and that was a bigger ring than the Rocky ring. Now lets cut to the chase with the review. The Jakks Pacific Rocky III ring is the same size as the Mattel Superstar Raw ring. Now here's where the similarities end. Assembling the Jakks Pacific ring is a pain in the ass. The reason for it being such a pain is because the ropes are not pre tied so when you do tie the ropes you have a huge knot sticking out of the turnbuckle. This leads to the second pain in the ass, the turnbuckle posts. The Second thing almost all wrestling fans hate about Jakks Pacific rings is that the turnbuckle posts cave in. What I mean by when they cave in is that the lunge forward when the ropes hooked around them. Now the Jakks Rocky ring has a rope bounce mechanism which is pretty crappy enough said.
  Now the Mattel WWE Superstar Raw ring. As I said earlier the Mattel ring is the same size as the Jakks Pacific one. The Mattel ring wasn't a pain in the ass to assemble. In fact it was a breeze to assemble because the ropes were pre tied and so you wouldn't have to spend time trying to not have a big knot when you assemble the ring. All you have to do is put the turnbuckles in the holes and hookup the ropes. Another factor is that the ropes are now tighter than the Jakks Pacific one. The Only other assembly required was putting the WWE sticker in the center of the ring, putting 12 WWE stickers on the turnbuckle pads, and putting the Raw stickers on the two sides of the ring. The ring has a spring bounce action instead of a rope bounce action.
   The real winner here is the Mattel Ring. It's easier to assemble and more enjoyable.

Angry Grandpa

 If Epic Beard Man and Tourette's Guy would have a son, their offspring would be Angry Grandpa. You see Angry Grandpa is a combination of the two memes above due to several factors. On the Epic Beard Man side, Angry Grandpa has the beard like EBM and the voice like EBM. For the Tourette's Guy side of him, is the traits of drunkenness and cursing all of the time.
  Combining the two memes creates a Mega Meme, called Angry Grandpa.
 Here are my Favorite Angry Grandpa videos
 1. Angry Grandpa ruins cookout.
2. Angry Grandpa ruins Christmas.
3. Angry Grandpa Washing Machine Repossessed 

4. Angry Grandpa Finds Out He Is On Break

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

My Mom And Music Torture

Today I Officially went back to school for the Spring semester at Luzerne County Community College in Nanticoke PA. So instead of listening to the radio on the way up to school, I decided to put The Book Of Eli score by Atticus Ross in the CD player in the Subaru Outback. Now my mom likes some of the CDs I play in the car and some she doesn't like, such as Lady Gaga's EP The Fame Monster, which she says is crude, and that is the censored copy. I have the Australian import of The Fame Monster where the lyrics are uncensored. Anyway back to the Book of Eli score. Since this was an instrumental, I thought for sure my mom would like it since i put in The Social Network score by Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross, and she liked it. Well I was dead wrong today, my mother did not like The Book of Eli score because it was too noisy. Too noisy my ass. It was ambient/ industrial music. If you want to know what is effective music torture look up the Chicago soundtrack. I bought my mom the Chicago Soundtrack for Christmas because she absolutely loved the music from the musical Chicago. This is an effective form of torture by music because the songs lyrics are so catchy that they get stuck in your head all of the time. Last night at work I couldn't stop but sing in my head the song Razzle Dazzle from Chicago. My mom was having the same problem last night when she was trying to say her prayers, Razzle Dazzle was stuck in her head. One day I put in Animal by Ke$ha in the car and my mother liked it, but when We R Who We R comes on the radio my mother hates it. I guess my mother just can't get with the times.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Why You Can't Have 101 Dalmatians In Real Life

   If you ever saw the movie 101 Dalmatians you probably thought it would be cool to have 101 real Dalmatian puppies running around your house. Sadly it is impossible to keep 101 Dalmatians for the following reasons. The first reason being that having 101 Dalmatians would not come cheap. With any pet you have to feed it. in order to feed 101 puppies you would go through thousands of bags of dog food a year. I feed my Dalmatian, Pepper Ann twice a day. So if you feed your 101 Dalmatians twice a day you would double the amount and put you into substantial amount of debt.
   My next reason is the veterinarian costs. This alone will cost you several thousands of dollars because the veterinarian has to see 101 Dalmatian puppies individually and give them their shots individually would take a few days out of their busy schedule to see your dogs. This also includes spaying and neutering all of your 101 Dalmatians.
   The third reason would be local ordinances. Chances are that your city or municipality has an ordinance on how many dogs or cats that you can have. I will have to add the health reason because having too many pets creates a bad odor, your neighbors do not want to live next to a house with a 101 Dalmatians because of the foul stench.  Also the city's code enforcement and health department can and will condemn your house due to the unhealthy living conditions of having too many dogs.
    Reason number 4 is cleaning up all of the dog poop. this alone will take at least a good hour or two of your day. So I am not going into detail about it.
    Reason number 5 is that it would be too time consuming to give each one of your 101 Dalmatians individualized attention let alone remembering all 101 of their names which I couldn't remember them all either.
    The sixth reason is that everyone in the city or town you live in will call you the crazy dog person because you have so many dogs. Everyone will be comparing you to the infamous crazy cat lady.
     The seventh reason is that the their is no public assistance for having 101 dogs. Sorry you can't ask congress for a bailout for raising your 101 Dalmatians.
      I'm Sorry if i ruined your childhood dream.

Sunday, January 16, 2011

The 5 Most Ridiculous Batman and Robin Action Figures Ever

Batman is one of the most popular superheros of all time. If there would be a superhero to represent the action figure industry it would have to be Batman. Even though Batman's secret identity, Bruce Wayne is a billionaire, he still wouldn't waste his money on stupid suits for Batman. The following are the most ridiculous Batman action figures ever.
1. Inferno Extinction Batman

Now when is Batman ever a firefighter? The answer is NEVER. Why in the hell would Hasbro even make this atrocity? My theory is that they want kids to believe that Batman can be anything no matter how ludicrous it seems. I mean look at Batnan's outfit, he is clearly not wearing the proper turnout gear that firefighters are supposed to wear. To top that Batman is not wearing a fire helmet. The idiot who designed this toy probably thought Batman's cowl backed as a helmet. Well Guess what his cowl was made out of cloth or some kind of material in the New Batman Adventures. It looks like Hasbro has Dun Goof'd on this one.


2. Sky Dive Batman.                 

OK seriously when does Batman ever skydive? Never. If he would ever have to skydive from the Batplane, which is a jet by the way he would have to avoid being sucked in by a jet engine when jumping from the narrow cockpit of his jet. Or Batman may have an ejector seat in the Batplane. This Batman the Animated Series figure is another dumb idea from the good folks at Kenner. It just keeps getting stupider and stupider in every generation of Batman action figures.

3. Robin (Batman Returns)       

OK here is a major loophole. A Robin figure in the Batman Returns line? Are you kidding me because this makes no sense to me whatsoever. I mean this figure has fail written all over it because if I'm not mistaken, Robin was NOT in Batman Returns at all. So why make a figure of a character who was not in the movie at all. Once again Kenner dun goof'd.

4. Power Armor Batman          
Here was a great idea for a Terry McGinnis action figure from Batman Beyond but naturally Hasbro screws things up. This figure was the one and only Secret Identity Batman figure from Batman Beyond. Hasbro went along and gave this figure way to comical armor and weird Robin robot thingy which I don't get at all. Hasbro should have just made a Regular Street Gear Terry McGinnis figure instead of this crap. So guess what Hasbro, ya dun goof'd again.

 5. Firewall Robin                
Here's another great screw up by Hasbro in its Batman Beyond line, Its Firewall Robin. Just like the Batman Returns Robin, Firewall Robin has no place in the Batman Beyond line, because you guessed it, Robin was never in Batman Beyond. What in the hell were the designers at Hasbro Thinking with this one. I mean were they on drugs or something. Because there is no utter stupidity than adding a Robin figure to a toy line for a series that he was not in. Well Hasbro Ya Dun Goof'd Up.

Trent Reznor Won the Golden Globe for The Social Network Score

I am so freaking off the wall because Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails just won a Golden Globe for his score for The Social Network. I am not usually this hyper when it comes to someone winning something like Dale Earnhardt Jr. winning a NASCAR race or winning a stuffed animal from the claw machine. This is a different kind of excitement, it is when someone whose work you enjoy very much wins big. So Congrats to Trent Reznor on the BEST film score of ALL TIME. OF ALL TIME!!!!!