Monday, May 30, 2011

The Top 10 Worst WWE Entrance Themes

  Whenever I play a Smackdown Vs Raw game I like to hear a wrestler's entrance theme. Some of them are pretty bad and unfitting at the same time. Here are the top 10 worst WWE entrance themes of current or former Superstars and Divas.
   10 Mickie James- Obsession composed by Jim Johnston. I have nothing bad to say about the greatest wrestling music composer of all time here. I love his music. But the theme he composed for the former WWE diva Mickie James has a comical sound to it. Her theme is titled Obsession and it should be used far far away from the wrestling ring. As a matter of fact this theme should be used for videos of fat people falling or any type of fail video. The beat of the music gives it the humor for a theme for someone who is a klutz.
   9.  Melina- Paparazzi composed by Jim Johnston. Again I am not bashing Jim Johnston here. Just the title of Melina Perez's theme song is misleading. If your song is called Paparazzi, shouldn't you use Lady Gaga instead? The instrumental version of Lady Gaga's Paparazzi would be more fitting than the unrelated one that Melina has. If you have played as Melina on a Smackdown Vs Raw game you would have probably noticed that Melina's entrance moves have paparazzi photographing her. I know that it is all part of her act but I think that Lady Gaga would be a better choice for Melina's theme because the lyrics would make sense with the chasing her down etc. 
   8. R-Truth- What's Up- performed by R-Truth. If there has to be a more repetitious and or nauseating songs in the world next to Friday by Rebecca Black, R-Truth would win. This song has to be the worst song ever. 97% of the lyrics contain What's Up. I hope R-Truth doesn't release a rap album because frankly my dear this song sucks. Reason number one is that it is annoying. Reason number two is that it is practically the same verse over and over time and again. This song actually gives me a headache more than an autotuned song.
   7.  William Regal- 7th Theme Royalty performed by Unknown. If there has to be a theme where a wrestler is portrayed as a stereotypical British snob who is of royalty here is your theme. The title of this theme is dubbed Royalty by fans and it's composer is unknown. Coming in at number 7 this theme does make it on my list of the worst entrance themes. Why you may ask? I think the music itself is very unfitting for a wrestling entrance theme. This music makes the wrestler look like a spoiled little bitch brat. I wouldn't take this theme seriously because of the nature of the music because gives the wrestler a weak look like he's a pansy. If William and Kate were pro wrestlers this theme would be for them.
   6. Kofi Kingston- S.O.S. performed by Collie Buddz. There's nothing more funny than a theme about a Jamaican who is actually played by a person who is from Ghana. That spells FAIL right there alone. Now on to the theme. Just like R-Truth's theme this one is also repetitious. SOS is repeated a million times throughout the song not to mention the auto tune. I hate auto tune so much it actually gives me a headache. This theme is so bad at playing a reggae theme that Inner Circle who does the Bad Boys song for COPS would be better fitting because it is not autotuned to death. And while I'm at it I don't buy Kofi Kingston's Jamaican bit whatsoever. I do know that WWE is scripted by the way.
   5. John Cena- My Time is Now performed by John Cena and Tha Trademarc. Here's another entrance theme performed by the wrestler and his cousin. Before I go anywhere further I would like to admit that I have the album and I actually liked it even though I don't care for rap. The reason for this being on the list doesn't have to do with the fact that it is a bad theme, it's here because it is censored. If you have seen John Cena's album in a music store, you probably noticed a clean version and a parental advisory version. You're probably asking yourself why am I complaining about a clean album when I can go buy a uncensored one. That's not the point. The point that I am making is that John Cena appeals to preschoolers and kindergarten students so that is why there the censored version is more abundant. You guessed it, The censored version is made for his entrance theme. Here is the uncensored version.
   4. Jimmy Wang Yang- Gonna Punch Someone Tonight performed by David Church. Asian rednecks aren't something that we think of everyday if not ever. So Redneck+ Asian= FAIL. Yeah an Asian redneck gimmick isn't good for professional wrestling It's good for TNA where all the washed up wrestlers go. There are just no other words to describe this piece of crap.
   3. Big Boss Man- Cell Block composed by Jim Johnston. I love Big Boss Man and may he rest in piece. Sorry for The Undertaker pun I couldn't resist. Cell Block is a theme that is cool but very unfitting. I think that Bad Boys the theme from COPS would be more appropriate for a prison guard gimmick. Something that is very law enforcement related music would be more appropriate than this. I like the song but it doesn't fit the corrections officer motif.
   2. Triple H- Blue Blood by unknown. Triple H's first theme is similar to William Regal's theme in sound and in nature. It also makes you go What were they thinking when they made this? If you look at this and compare it to his current theme by Motorhead you want to know how they went from this theme to Motorhead. That is a huge leap in style. Triple H is supposed to be a king of some sort and his first theme is very royal sounding but it is a totally inappropriate theme for a wrestler. 
   1. Yoshi Tatsu- J Pop Drop performed by Tom Haines and Christopher Branch.  This theme is very unfitting for a WWE superstar regardless of if they are from Japan or not. This theme is more unfitting than the Partyboy song from Jackass. I mean this song is better off for a Chippendale. This song is very comical and is considered to be a joke by my taste. I like the song and I think that it is catchy but it is a terrible wrestling theme that takes the number one spot on my list.

Friday, May 27, 2011

SyFy Channel Original Movies Are Unoriginal and Bad

  Every once in a while my mom will have on the SyFy Channel and they would be showing one of their original movies. I can tell you this they are all cheesy and predictable. These movies are 99.999% bad that they are actually riffable. If you are reading this post and wondering what I mean by riffable I will tell you. Riffing is when you crack jokes at a horrible movie. If any of you are familiar with the TV show Mystery Science Theater 3000 or MST3K for short you will know what I am referring about. You probably know or have heard about Rifftrax which is basically the same thing as MST3K.
  Now if you go onto IMDB and look up one of these movies, you'll notice that they all have low user ratings. This alone just goes to show how bad these movies are. Take the movie Snakehead Terror for instance. This movie is allegedly based on actual events that took place at a lake in Northern Maryland. Now the problem with this movie is that it is unoriginal. Why is it unoriginal? Well considering that this movie is a ripoff of a couple of major blockbuster movies, such as the Jaws franchise, Lake Placid series and Piranha. Lets investigate how similar Snakehead Terror is to Jaws shall we. First off both Jaws and Snakehead terror have law enforcement officials as main characters. Jaws has a police chief and Snakehead Terror has a sheriff. Second Jaws and Snakehead Terror both deal with a town that has a tourism industry that is being threatened by a man eating monster. Third the head of the local law enforcement wants the lake and or beaches to be closed to swimming in boating and even puts up signs to prevent people from doing so. Fourthly both in Jaws and Snakehead terror, there are scenes of local fisherman going into the water to catch the beast that has done the harm. The fifth similarity is that both movies have a scientist being called in to investigate the terrorizing fish.
   One factor to these SyFy Channel movies that contributes to them being so bad is that they all have some kind of really shitty looking CGI monster. These CGI monsters look so convincingly fake that they make the Godzilla costumes look real. Another thing that I noticed about these B Movies is that a great majority of them are filmed in Canada. Why Canada? I have nothing against America's Hat here. It just seems to me that everyone of these movies are filmed there. They probably get some kind of tax break to film in Canada.
    Another thing I will mention is the horrible acting in these SyFy Channel movies. They get Z list actors and some D list ones to star in this movie. Take the movie Snakehead Terror again, Carol Alt was in it. Why does the name Carol Alt sound familiar? Oh wait Family Guy made fun of her. If it wasn't for Family Guy making fun of her being an aging supermodel, I wouldn't have known who in the hell she was.
    Finally if you are super bored and have friends around turn on the SyFy Channel and watch one of their original movies and Riff the hell out of it. I guarantee you'll have a great time and generate lots of laughs in the process. Every time my mom and I watch one I riff it at her annoyance.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Born This Way Deluxe Edition Review

 On May 23rd I bought the deluxe edition of Lady Gaga's new album Born This Way and I have to say that this has to be her best work yet. Now we all know by now that the deluxe edition is no longer a Target exclusive so you can get this album anywhere. The standard edition of Born This Way has 14 songs. The deluxe edition has 17 songs plus a bonus disc with 5 remixes bringing the total to 22 songs.
The SE of Born This Way
The DE looks much cooler and Badass.
  1. The Artwork. The artwork for the deluxe edition is different from the standard edition. (From now on I am getting tired of typing deluxe edition and standard edition and I will be abbreviate them DE and SE for short.) The DE's artwork is Lady Gaga's head that is implanted on the motorcycle only zoomed to show her head. In addition the DE says Lady Gaga Born This Way on it compared to the SE with just Born This Way and Lady Gaga implanted on a motorcycle. If I had to pick a favorite cover I would have to go with the DE cover because it just looks so badass.
  2. The songs. The three bonus songs on disc one of the DE are Black Jesus+ Amen Fashion, Fashion of His Love, and The Queen. The album's five singles, are Born This Way, Judas, The Edge of Glory, You And I, and Marry the Night. It's a shame that Judas flopped. I was very disappointed to not hear it on the radio often as much as the other two singles. Back to the review I got a little bit sidetracked. I am not going to review the songs one by one just to let you know. The songs vary in sound from, some having a Nine Inch Nails industrial sound to a Mexican sound to an opera opening in Government Hooker. The sound of this album is different from her previous albums, The Fame and The Fame Monster. 3 of the songs are the DE, the songs that are censored are, Government Hooker which I believe is intentionally censored the other two censored songs are Bad Kids and The Queen. Now the remixes on Disc 2 are your typical Lady Gaga remixes, with the exception to the Born This Way Country Road version, where Born This Way is sung in a country tune and some of the lyrics are changed.
   3. My Opinion of Born This Way. I loved Born This Way. You can even say I went gaga over it. Excuse the pun. This is even more epic album over The Fame and The Fame Monster, heck it's even more epic than The Remix. This album is her best yet. If you know or follow Hess trucks you probably know the slogan The Hess truck is back and it's better than ever. Well I will modify that. The Lady Gaga album is back and it's better than ever. I especially love the fact that Lady Gaga had an industrial influence in making this album. After all Nine Inch Nails is one of her influences. I wonder what Trent Reznor would think of this album. The only dislike I have is the fact that 3 songs are censored. I hate censorship. I guess Lady Gaga is afraid of a parental advisory label on her album artwork or it is her label's fault. I would highly recommend Born This Way deluxe edition to any little monster out there.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Why I Still Buy CDs

A Lady Gaga CD
  When was the last time you bought a CD. Seriously think about it. The answer for many of us is probably never if you got an iPod. Well I can tell you this, I still buy CDs all the time. I am buying the deluxe edition of Born This Way on Monday.
   Many people don't buy CDs anymore because they have an iPod or some type of MP3 player. The reason why I still buy CDs is partially the fact that I don't have an iPod. Why don't I have one? I don't have one due to the fact that I DESPISE Apple products. I think that they are overrated and are another thing to get broken inside of my pocket.
   The second reason I still buy CDs is the fact that I prefer a physical copy over a digital one. Why you ask? Well a physical copy of an album is always there, It can't be deleted or destroyed if something happens to your iPod or MP3 player.
    My third reason I still buy CDs is because I want to support the record store, which is a dying trend. The FYE in the Laurel Mall closed down in January 2011. I tend to support the local independent record stores over the big box ones. I rarely get to go out of town to shop at another FYE which is 28 miles from my house and with the price of gas it would be a waste if I didn't come back with a CD.
     Finally I still buy CDs because I am old school. I don't care about iPods or iPhones or Zunes or iTunes. All I care about is having a physical copy of an album. By the way did you know that Rhianna's new album Loud has a parental advisory label and that you can't buy the physical copy of Loud with the parental advisory label? You can only get the uncensored version digitally. I believe that this is giving people who buy CDs the middle finger.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

5 Things That Keep Me Up at Night

Sometimes I just can't fall asleep at night. I can think of many good reasons to what keeps me up. Here are the pesky things that keep me up.
1. Waiting for 5-23-2011 to Come. Why May 23rd 2011 you ask? Well I will tell you why. Lady Gaga's new Album Born This Way is coming out and I can't wait any longer to buy the deluxe edition CD. I have never been so exited in my life for a CD to come out. Yes I still buy CDs., Why you ask? The answer to that is coming in another blog post
2. Funny Internet Memes. One meme that makes me laugh hysterically is none other than Ya Dun Goof'd. No matter how hard I try to go through my day without saying Ya dun goof'd is impossible to not say it. I sometimes laugh myself to sleep saying ya dun goof'd.
3. Playing with my Hot Wheels and Matchbox cars. This is another hobby of mine that keeps me up sometimes. I will be playing with my Matchbox Super Convoy International LoneStar, and my Ford C900 along with other cars and trucks, doing various test drives. I make up my own scenarios with the cars, whether it's a Austin FX4 taxi competing against a Checker Marathon taxi or, dropping a Ford Pinto on it's rear to make a fake explosion they still keep me up at night.
4. Staring at random things in my room. I have various decor in my bedroom. For instance when I have trouble falling asleep, I tend to stare at my one of my Lady Gaga posters for 20 minutes before falling asleep.
5. My CDs. Sometimes I will be playing my CDs before I go to sleep. Sometimes I get a little bit revved up and they make me resist going to sleep. Maybe playing Lady Gaga before going to bed is a bad idea. I think I should play one of my score soundtracks instead.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Hot Wheels Car Dealerships

  About 6 years ago, I went to a garage sale and saw a mint in package Hot Wheels Ferrari Dealership. The packaging was missing the top of the box, but it still had it's red Ferrari 348 with 5 dot wheels. I bought the playset for $4 and walked home to open it and assemble it. I put it together within 5 minutes. This then caused me to buy more Hot Wheels Ferrari cars. 
My Hot Wheels Ferrari Dealership with Maserati's
A few years later in 2008 I was in KB Toys when they were going out of business and saw the Hot Wheels Ultimate Ford Complex for I believe $20. I once decided against buying this set back in 2006, so I couldn't resist buying this one. It came with a Hot Wheels Ford factory, a Ford dealership, a car wash and some road pieces. I was mainly interested in the Ford playsets rather than the car wash.
My Hot Wheels Ford dealership.
 I later found out through Hot Wheels research that Mattel made a Chevrolet dealership when Hot Wheels had the Sto and Go line. I would Love to have a hot wheels Chevy dealership, but I don't want to pay a high price for it. I think that Hot Wheels car dealerships are cool and that Mattel should make more. I'd be deeply upset if they didn't.

Thursday, May 5, 2011

Salvation Army Thrift Stores are Expensive

  Yesterday I walked to the Salvation Army Thrift Store to kill some time, while my mom was having a meeting for her birthday party. While I was looking around the store, I noticed things aren't too thrifty. For instance they had an obsolete Zenith floor model TV for $19.99. Yes an old fullscreen CRT TV that would give you a hernia when you would pick it up. $19.99 for an obsolete TV set is ridiculous. I mean who in their right mind would pay $19.99 for a obsolete piece of junk? I guess someone who really needs a TV set would pay that.
  Also I took a look at the used furniture and almost had a heart attack when I saw the prices. There I saw an old couch for $164.  Really $164 for a used couch? You ought to be kidding me. That's too much for a piece of used furniture. If I was on a fixed income and I needed a used couch, I could never afford $164 for a lousy pre-owned couch.
  This leads me to the next part of my rant, the used hats. Now I love hats. I have way too many hats. I took a good look at the 3 used hats and I can tell you that the $3.99 price tag for a scummy beat up baseball hat is way too much for a used hat. I shop at another thrift store to buy my vintage trucker hats that are new or are in like new condition and I pay $0.98 for them each. That's a big difference in price at a savings of $3.01.
   Now comes the toy rant. I also collect old action figures, and I usually look at the toys in any thrift store. The Salvation Army had 3 Hasbro Batmobiles and they were all broken in some way. One was missing a wheel, another one was missing a roof. and another was missing something that skipped my mind. Now why would a thrift store take broken toys? It baffles me. It's like that they want the kids who have to buy the broken one to suffer because they can only afford a broken used one. Another thing is I saw a 12 inch GI Joe with half of his arm missing. I was beginning to think why would they take a broken toy. I guess it comes down to you get what you pay for.
   The next part of my rant is the VHS Tapes. Now VHS has been obsolete ever since the DVD came out. The Salvation Army wants $3.99 for a dead format VHS Tape.  Seriously $3.99 for an obsolete media format? This is insanity. Why would they even charge somebody $3.99 for a VHS tape? I rarely use my VCR anymore, although I do have an old Panasonic Omnimovie full size VHS Camcorder. I don't think anyone still uses VHS anymore, its all DVD and Blu-Ray nowadays.
    Finally the Salvation Army thrift store is more of a heft store if you ask me. I say this because none of their prices are thrifty at all in my opinion. So go support an independent thrift store instead.

Tuesday, May 3, 2011

30 Things We Could Have Done to Osama Bin Laden's Corpse

 So finally after like 9 years we finally caught the bastard Osama Bin Laden. Wait a minute, we shot and killed him and then buried him at sea. If I was in charge of disposing Osama's corpse, I would have a different plan on how to get rid of it.
1. Crucify His Corpse.
2. Take a shit on his corpse.
3. Take a piss on his corpse.
4. Turn it into a pinata.
5. Behead him and take head to a taxidermist and display in the Oval Office.
6. Stab the corpse repeatedly with an American Flag.
7. Drop it off at a VFW post. The vets will dispose of him properly.
8. Hang the corpse even though he is already dead.
9. Have the corpse tour the United States and let the public beat the shit out of it.
10. Curb stomp the corpse.
11. Drag it on the 5th wheel of an 18 wheeler.
12. Burn the corpse.
13. Use it as a target.
14. Put it on an airplane and crash it.
15. Cut him up and use him for dog food.
16. Let Epic Beard Man slap the shit out of him.
17. Use it as a crash dummy.
18. Shove a broomstick up his ass until it comes out of his eye socket.
19. Give him to the USMC they'll have a good time with it.
20. Sell corpse on eBay, Our national debt will be payed off.
21. Drop him from a bridge onto the inbound lane of the Boston Expressway.
22. Cut him up with a dull chainsaw.
23. Toss him into a blast furnace.
24. Toss him in gasoline and then set him ablaze.
25. Put him on the L.A. Freeway at 4:59.
26. Shove him into a meat grinder.
27. Put him into an old car that is going into the crusher.
28. Throw him into a shark pit.
29. Throw him into an alligator pit or crocodile pit or vice versa.
30. Put him in the backseat of a Ford Pinto with a full tank of gas and rear end it so it goes Boom.