Wednesday, January 29, 2014

Concealed Weapons Permit Badges

  Nothing has to be stupider than Concealed Weapons Permit badges. Now why are they so stupid? Well to start off, they are dorky and make you look like a complete fool. I can just see people now who are trying to impersonate a police officer with these since they look like a real police badge.
  Now why would people buy these things. It is either one of two things. A. They want to look badass when they showoff their concealed weapons permit. B. they make no sense whatsoever. Now every website and seller that sells these Concealed Weapons Permit Badges has a disclaimer that says
something along these lines, not to be used to impersonate a law enforcement officer. Now I can understand how a concealed weapons permit badge can be used to impersonate a police officer due to the fact that they look like a police badge.
  But why do they make these even? They probably don't even sell. I mean every surplus and shooting supply stores sell them. So do they even sell? Apparently they do because everyone and their brother is selling them.

Wednesday, January 22, 2014


  Many years ago there was a Less than truckload company called Guaranteed Overnight Delivery or G.O.D. for short. They had a 1-800 number. That number was 1-800-CALL-GOD. Now I can only imagine the amount of prank calls they must have gotten from atheists and people who want to talk to God. I can imagine a call going along these lines...
G.O.D. Trucking
  Person who works for G.O.D.: Thank you for calling G.O.D. how may I help you today?
  Caller: Hello is Jesus there?
  G.O.D. Employee: No this a trucking company there is a person who works here by the name of Jesus he's Mexican.
  Caller: [Hangs Up] Laughing
  G.O.D. Employee: [facepalm and immediately talks to supervisor about umpteenth prank call.
 Now G.O.D. went out of business over 10 years ago and  I miss seeing their trucks on the highway.

Friday, January 10, 2014

The Top 10 Worst Bootleg Action Figures of All Time

  Today I thought I would write about bootleg toys. Nothing is more hilarious than bootleg toys. Some of them are so bad they're good. While others are so bad they just cause instant facepalms. So get ready for some bootleg toys.
1. Robert Cop 2. Ok this is an obvious bootleg Robocop figure. It's so bad it's good like Robocop's TV edit version. This toy is one bad Mother Crusher. I love how toy bootleggers change the name of the toy trying to be stealthy.
2.  Star Night motorcycle. This toy has fail written all over it in permanent marker and it ain't coming off with Goo Gone. So this toy is a huge fail because it's Darth Vader on a police motorcycle. You're argument is invalid.
3. Mr. Rock. Ok this toy is an obvious bootleg Mr. Spock figure. It's so bad it deserves to be placed in a dumpster for all eternity. This figure gives me nightmares just looking at it. The figure looks nothing like Leonard Nimoy. Don't beam this figure up.
4. Sense of Right Alliance. Ok this toy has no continuity whatsoever. It's quite random at best. How is it random? well for one it contains Lightning McQueen, Batman, Superman, a Power Ranger, Spider-Man, and yes Shrek. Why in the hell is Shrek and Lightning McQueen in this set? They aren't even superheros for Pete's sake. This is a Super Fail.
5. Super Heroes Justice League. Here is another crappy attempt at making a 4pack of Bootleg action figures. This one makes no sense whatsoever. Why is that? well for starters you have Spider-Man, Batman, Naruto and Iron Man. Why is Naruto in there? It's pretty awful and a pathetic attempt at making the most common form of Bootleg action figures there are. Also If you have noticed ths
6. Harry Potter Batmobile. I cannot describe this with enough words. This makes no sense whatsoever. Harry Potter does not drive the goddamn 1989 Batmobile. Chicks don't love the car when Harry Potter is driving the Batmobile. This is the ultimate Fail when it comes to bootleg action figure vehicles. Whoever designed this bootleg gem had to be high on drugs or drunk when this was conceived.
7. Super Avengers Beat Magnum King. What in the hell is this piece of garbage? It's a bootleg unmasked Batman figure in knockoff Avengers packaging. This is really awful as in bottom of the barrel awful. If there is bootleg toys hall of fame, this figure deserves a spot in it.

8. Batman Telephone Car. All I can say is What is this I don't even... I mean really what are these bootleg toy designers on when they create these things. A Batman Telephone Car? C'Mon. I'd rather have a Bat Credit Card.

9. Spader-Man. This one is pretty much self explanatory. I mean it's just Spider-Man being cleverly disguised as his bizzaro alter ego Spader-Man right? Nope Chuck Testa. Nope Nope Nope it ain't Chuck Testa either. It's just the most awful bootleg Spider-Man figure ever.
10. Specialman. It's a Bird! It's a Plane! It's Superman's mentally challenged cousin Specialman. This figure isn't that bad and what kills it is the fact that it is called Specialman. I guess the toymakers of these bootlegs try to change the names of the figures they are copying to avoid copyright. Specialman is just plain bad,
Conclusion. Well my final thoughts on these 10 bootleg toys are going to be frank. These toys are so bad they are good. You just have to see them in person to appreciate all of the hard work these bootleggers put in to making them. All joking aside you should never buy these bootleg action figures because you would be supporting piracy and intellectual copyright theft.

Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Useless Fact of The Day Number 4: Interstate Batteries Trucks

An older styled painted truck with sponsor decals
  Well I am back with the 4th installment of the Useless Fact of The Day. Today's topic is Interstate Batteries trucks. The Interstate Batteries trucks are painted and modeled after the number 18 Toyota Camry driven by Kyle Busch that is occasionally sponsored by Interstate Batteries. This is nothing new. I believe this has been going on since Interstate Batteries began sponsoring NASCAR's back in the early 1990s. Some of the Interstate Batteries delivery trucks even have the number 18 on the box on the back or on the door of the truck. Some even have sponsor stickers on the trucks to make it look like the NASCAR Even more.
A modern styled NASCAR look minus the sponsor decals

Sunday, January 5, 2014

The Three Most Useless Things That Come With A Car

  Some cars come with cool bells and whistles while they also come with two useless things, valet keys and the cigarette lighters. So why are they useless?
  Let's start off with the valet key. Face it do you know where your valet key is since you bought your new car. If not that pretty much explains why it is useless. The valet key is practically lost the day the car is bought. People seem to put the 3rd key away somewhere and forget where they put it when they go to trade the car in. In addition to being lost, people just don't even use the key when they get the car valet parked. Yeah it pretty much defeats it's purpose if people don't use the Valet key when they get there car valet parked.
   Now onto the cigarette lighter. The cigarette lighter is one of those things that nobody uses, execpt for the jack that you can plug a GPS system in or cell phone charger. That's what the cigarette lighter outlet is used for not for smoking. I don't smoke so I don't use the cigarette lighter that comes with the car. I can assure you that people who smoke in their cars don't use the car's cigarette lighter. Years ago Subaru stopped putting cigarette lighters in their cars but keeping the outlet and replacing the cigarette lighter with a plastic dummy. I think the Subaru Forrester still has the dummy cigarette lighter while others have a regular lighter.
  On a side note let's add the ashtray as well. People who smoke in their cars NEVER use the ashtray that comes with the car. What do they do? they open their window and hold the cigarette out the window and flick ashes out the window, not the ashtray. What is the ashtray good for then? Storage for toothpicks and pieces of gum.

Thursday, January 2, 2014

Top 20 Lego Architecture Sets That Should Be Made

  I love Lego Architecture sets. I've been hooked on them ever since I got the White House for Christmas a few years ago. Since then I have gotten many more sets such as Villa Savoye, Robie House, Imperial Hotel, UN headquarters, Leaning Tower of Pisa, Farnsworth House, Brandenburg Gate and Fallingwater. The architecture sets are one of the best things that Lego has created in the past few years next to the Modular Houses line.
  Now there are some buildings I want to see in the Architecture line in the future. So here is my list of buildings that should be made.
  1. Renascence Center- General Motors Headquarters
  2. Washington Monument
  3. The Alamo
  4. United States Capitol building
  5. The Pentagon
  6. Philadelphia City Hall
  7. Lincoln Memorial
  8. Chrysler Building
  9. Kentuck Knob
  10. Zimmerman House
  11. Buckingham Palace
  12. Frank Lloyd Wright Home and Studio
  13. Ward Winfield Willits House
  14. Mercedes-Benz Museum
  15. Chrysler Headquarters and Technology Center
  16. Golden Gate Bridge
  17. Chicago Board of Trade Building
  18. World Trade Center
  19. Alcatraz
  20. Walt Whitman Bridge

Wednesday, January 1, 2014

50 Danny Trejo Facts

  Since there is already Chuck Norris, Mr. T, Vin Diesel, Bruce Campbell facts, I thought I would create Danny Trejo facts. He is a badass after all.
  1. Danny Trejo's mustache is the only thing that can deflect Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
  2. Danny Trejo can hear silence.
  3. Danny Trejo is one of the 4 Horsemen of the Apocalypse, the others are Bruce Campbell, Mr. T, and Chuck Norris.
  4. Danny Trejo's weapon of choice is a machete
  5. Danny Trejo is that person you don't want to meet in a dark alley.
  6. Danny Trejo's tears can cure any disease, too bad he never cries.
  7. Danny Trejo can strangle you with a cordless phone.
  8. Danny Trejo scared the black out of Michael Jackson
  9. Danny Trejo invented a watch that can do everything except tell time.
  10. Danny Trejo once won American Idol by using sign language.
  11. Danny Trejo can go to order a Big Mac at Burger King and get it.
  12. Danny Trejo won the Hunger Games by killing everyone with his machete.
  13. Danny Trejo can buy a Snap-On tool from a Matco truck
  14. Danny Trejo can see John Cena
  15. Danny Trejo got into a knife fight and the knife lost.
  16. Danny Trejo finished The NeverEnding Story
  17. Danny Trejo is the reason why Waldo is hiding
  18. Machete's don't kill people, Danny Trejo does.
  19. Danny Trejo approves of this fact.
  20. Danny Trejo doesn't want fries with that.
  21. Danny Trejo can get Blackjack with one card
  22. Danny Trejo will never have a heart attack, his heart knows better
  23. Danny Trejo can laugh with a straight face.
  24. Danny Trejo can read Lady Gaga's Poker Face
  25. Danny Trejo knows it wasn't Gene Snitsky's fault.
  26. Danny Trejo scared the Brave Little Toaster.
  27. Getting murdered by Danny Trejo is listed as a natural cause of death
  28. Danny Trejo can delete the recycle bin
  29. On a High School math test, Danny Trejo put down violence for every answer. He got an A+ because Danny Trejo solves all of his problems with violence.
  30. Danny Trejo can clap with one hand
  31. Danny Trejo has a buddy whose an expert in Danny Trejo Facts
  32. When Danny Trejo goes to the airport, the TSA agents grope themselves.
  33. Danny Trejo can pump his own gas in New Jersey
  34. One night Danny Trejo took a 10 PM train home. He still refuses to give it back.
  35. Danny Trejo made a Happy Meal cry
  36. Danny Trejo once shot someone with a knife
  37. Danny Trejo can shoot 12 rounds out of a revolver
  38. Danny Trejo can shoot a Colt Single Action Army in double action
  39. Danny Trejo defied MC Hammer and touched this
  40. Danny Trejo once won a Lego building competition using Mega Bloks
  41. Danny Trejo haunts Freddy Kruger's dreams.
  42. Danny Trejo is the only person that can try this at home.
  43. Danny Trejo can drink a keg of beer and not die.
  44. Danny Trejo can outdrink Andre The Giant.
  45. Danny Trejo can call a 1-900 number and not get charged
  46. Danny Trejo can smell fear
  47. Death had a near Danny Trejo experience
  48. Danny Trejo can handle the truth
  49. Danny Trejo once beat Billy Mays in a shouting match
  50. If Danny Trejo had a weakness his name would be Superman