Are you sick of telemarketers harassing the living daylights out of you? If so this list is for you. Here are funny responses to say to those pesky telemarketers.
1. No Speak English.
2. Hi thank you for calling the
Insert city name here suicide hotline. How may I help you?
3. No thank you. Would you like to buy my car?
4. Hi thank you for calling The Shady Lady Escort Service. How may I be of assistance to you today?
5. Pretend to have a domestic dispute with your wife like an episode of Jerry Springer.
6. Ask them on a date.
7. Tell the telemarketer that they are the 9th caller and tell them that they just won Lady Gaga tickets.
8. Ask them to babysit your kids.
9. Hi thank you for calling Porn Land where the elite go to beat their meat.
10. Hi Thank you for calling Poison Control center. What is your emergency?
11. Thank you for calling the anonymous drug tip hotline. Who would you like to report?
12. Ich spreche kleine Englisch. (
I don't speak English in German)
13. Use a soundboard of a celebrity and harass them with the soundboard.
14. Tell them that they just called a crime scene and that they are considered a prime suspect.
15. Tell them they just called a gay bar.
16. Act like an old person and tell them about the good old days.
17. Thank you for calling the Kmart call off line.
18. Tell them that they stole your dog.
19. Ask them for directions.
20. Tell them that you Backtraced the call and that they've been reported to the cyber police and that the consequences will NEVER be the SAME because ya dun goof'd.
