Tuesday, February 22, 2011

2 O- Visions That Should have Been Invented by Now

1. Smell O-Vision Now Here's an idea that has been around since the invention of the TV. We have been promised Smell O-Vision forever now and we are still waiting for this like the Second Coming of Jesus. Today we have HDTV and we don't have Smell O-Vision? What the Hell what would go better with HDTV then Smell O-Vision when you are watching the Food Network or the Travel Channel. Seeing Cooking shows in HDTV you should be able to smell what they are cooking on the show. Damn where were our scientists when they should have invented this 50 years ago.

2. Slap O-Vision Have you ever watched Jersey Shore or Toddlers and Tiaras and felt like slapping the Snooki or one of those Pageant Moms? Here is an Idea of mine you have a virtual reality glove that hooks up to a sensor box that is plugged into your TV. So when you are watching a stupid reality show such as Teen Mom or Infinity Kids and Counting and you are fed up with them you can put on your VR glove and Bitch Slap them even though they won't feel the slap, it takes the anger out of you.

You Can't Say Shit on TV But You Can Say Jesus Christ

  Last night I was watching Die Hard on SpikeTV with my mom and dad. The TV edit was being shown. One of the pet peeves that my mother and I had was that they didn't censor Jesus Christ but the censored shit. It doesn't make any sense whatsoever. If I am not mistaken Thou Shall not take the Lords name in vain is one of the 10 Commandments. In fact I am sure that it is one of the 10 commandments. Now the problem is that they network censor finds shit offensive but they don't find Jesus Christ to be offensive. I know for a fact that my mother hates it when I say Jesus Christ when I am not praying.
   Look I am not saying my mom is like the mother in Bubble Boy who is a Jesus fanatic. I am saying that if they find the word shit offensive why don't they think that Saying Jesus Christ is offensive. My defense is that they are only actors who are doing their job. Don't get me wrong I hate Censorship. I find it ridiculous that Cee Lo Green's Hit single Fuck You is changed to Forget You for the radio edit. I mean Jesus Christ is very offensive and it should be offensive to say when you are not praying.
   Then again Jesus Christ is a name. Some people say that someones name in vain is offensive and it is. Why censor shit when Jesus Christ is uncensored. In my opinion is that Church is dying and there are more and more atheists out there who mock Jesus. Don't get me wrong, I am not an Atheist, I do go to church. I just find it stupid that people do not find saying Jesus Christ in vain offensive anymore.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

What's the Point in Replica TV and Movie Cars?

Re  Today when I was on my lunch break, I went to the mall to look around. I went into Kmart to see if they had any new WWE figures they didn't. So I looked at the Hot Wheels cars and saw the new Back to The Future Time Machine number 18 of 50 New Models. I bought 3 of them. One to open, and one to keep in the box and the other I sold to my friend. This lead me to think of the people in real life who ruin a perfectly good collector car and turn it into a replica. I've seen pictures before of DeLorean time machine replica's and I can tell you one thing. They are nerdy and make you look like a idiot.
  What is the point in owning a replica of a movie car? Is it the fact that the person who makes a replica is an attention seeker? Or is it the fact that they have to compensate for being a nerdy fanboy who still lives with his parents and never had a girlfriend? I tend to think that the both of these factors are to blame. What really annoys me on another mimicked replica is no other than the General Lee. Now here is what really grinds my gears. I love 1969 Dodge Chargers but I would never ruin such a great antique muscle car to make a replica General Lee. There are too many people out there who build replicas of the General Lee and they all ruined the 1969 Charger.
  Why make a replica when it is not going to be the original car that was used in the TV show or movie?
My guess is that you want to make your neighbor who owns a Rolls-Royce have a stroke due to the fact that a General Lee replica is classier than a Rolls-Royce.  Did I just say the General Lee is classier than a Rolls-Royce? That is the opposite from reality. In fact the General Lee is mostly associated with the redneck culture and the Rolls-Royce is associated with the classy wealthy. also nobody in their right mind would make a Rolls-Royce replica because they would get the pants sued off of them for trademark and copyright infringement.
Look 2 replica cars one over replicated and one that's not.
 My point here is that a replica of a TV or movie car is stupid and makes you look like a dork. I don't have that much free time on my hands to make a replica of the Wagon Queen Family Truckster because i have a job and go to college part time. It would be a great side project to build a replica of the Family Truckster but i don't own a Ford LTD Country Squire station wagon because there are not many of these things running around in my area. Now the Wagon Queen Family Truckster from National Lampoon's Vacation is one of the coolest movie cars that should be replicated because there aren't many replica's around.
   Anyone who has seen National Lampoon's Vacation remembers that the Family Truckster was a lemon. The engine knocked, when the car was turned off the engine was still running, it had a Hefty bag for an airbag, and lets not forget the oddly placed gas cap. In my opinion the car was cool. I love station wagons especially old ones that are like a bus. But that is not the point. Even my idea for making a replica of the Family Truckster is being a hypocrite but i have a soft side for Family Truckster replicas. My Problem is that people over replicate the Delorean Time Machine and the General Lee. If we come to think about it maybe it is time that we think about making replicas of the A-Team van or the Family Truckster. We should try to make something else for a change.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

Suing For Stupid Stuff

 A few years ago there was a man named Caesar Barber who unsuccessfully sued McDonald's, Burger King, KFC and Wendy's because the food he ate there every day made him fat. Seriously this man was joking. because what America needs right now is another asinine lawsuit. It's not like Ronald McDonald and the Burger King held this man at gunpoint and said eat here or you will suffer the consequences. People are stupid. Just because you eat at fast food restaurants every day make them liable for making you fat.

  Now say if i trip and fall in my new pair of size 13 shoes and scrape my knee. I want to sue Nike for making shoes that are in the unlucky shoe size 13. Therefore since I was wearing size 13 Nike shoes and fell. I can say that because the shoes were in size 13 they made me an unlucky person and I fell on the sidewalk and got a boo boo on my knee. Where is the common sense here? 
  Back in 1994 an old lady sued McDonald's because she spilled hot coffee on her lap suffered 3rd degree burns. Now if I am not mistaken isn't coffee supposed to be served hot? Correct me if I am wrong but maybe this old lady came from Bizarro Earth where coffee is served cold. Anyway this grandma got less than $600k in damages. Common Sense Is dead and no one cares. I do care.
   Here is another made up example. Everyone knows the old disclaimer product Actual colors may vary. Can I sue for bait and switch and false advertising. I bought the new toy Batmobile and on the box it showed the interior to have black seats. I opened the box only to find out it has blue seats. Hey that's false advertising Bucko. I'm gonna sue for ass off because my Batmobile doesn't have black seats and you lied to the consumer. Just because they used the prototype photos doesn't mean that they are the ones you are going to get. 


Wednesday, February 2, 2011

What I Found In the Dollar Store

On Monday I went to the grocery store with my mother. I got bored in the grocery store and decided that I would go in Dollar Tree. While I was in Dollar Tree, I was looking at the books and I found two books written by Kate Gosselin. I did not buy these books because I hate Kate Gosselin. I won't go into detail why. The Question Remains why are Kate Gosselin's books in the dollar store. Here is my guesses why they are there.
   1. She is washed up. The first reason I thought why her books were in the dollar store was because her Show on TLC got canceled and that she is washed up and nobody gives a damn about her anymore.
   2. Her books were not selling well. My second theory is that her books were not selling well. I guess that if your books aren't breaking the bank you are going to have to sell them at the dollar store. Who would even read this is beyond me. I wouldn't touch the books with a 10 foot pole. Also for the price of $1 plus the PA 6% sales tax is still to expensive for a book written by a person who should not even be famous in the first place. To top that giving the book away for free is still expensive.
    3. Writing books about your troubles raising multiple kids is vomit inducing. If I had to choose to read her books or watch a marathon of Hannah Montana, I would have to pick Hannah Montana even though I despise her too. I mean who want's to read a book about someone who has 8 kids. It's boring and pointless. I know I don't. Writing a book about your kids is like saying pity me for I am divorced and have 8 kids and my show got canceled buy my book that is probably ghost written and support my kids. Yeah that is how I see that situation.