Monday, April 25, 2011

I Hate Auto-Tune

  One of the things that gives me a headache is Auto-Tune. And if you're thinking that it might be a tumor. It's not a tumor. It's not a tumor at all. It's the fact that Auto-Tune is overused and it makes me want to vomit. Here's why I want to go back in time and stop the person from inventing this garbage.
  1. It is misused. Ok Auto-Tune is overused a lot by many of today's artists. The purpose of Auto-Tune is pitch correction, for when you sing out of tune, it corrects your vocal pitch to sound correctly. Many artists think that they are cool by using this to enhance their voice for their songs. When artists use Autotune to distort their vocals it makes their music even worse.
  2. Rebecca Black. You probably know who Rebecca Black is by know. Her music video for her song Friday is a perfect example of how Auto-Tune is overused. I will also add the fact that her video has more dislikes than likes on YouTube. Rebecca Black is the reason why Auto-Tune should be banned. She overused Auto-Tune in her song. For the record I disliked the video myself. I think that this song should be used for torture uses in Guantanamo Bay. This song will make the prisoners hang themselves. I guarantee it.
  3. Rappers. Another pet peeve of mine is that terrible rappers who are already terrible to begin with use Auto-Tune. Why do they need to enhance their vocals when their songs are already terrible? It doesn't make the song any better. As a matter of fact this is one of the reasons I don't care for rap that much to begin with. Artists like the Black Eyed Peas are a good example of this. If you wasted your time watching the god awful halftime show for the 2011 Superbowl, you'll see what I mean. Without Auto-Tune they couldn't sing to save their lives. I do have one of their CD's, although I rarely listen to it because I'll get an Auto-Tune Headache. Another artist I can't stand is T-Pain, he overuses this garbage also.
  What Can You Do To Stop Auto-Tune? Complain to your congressman or senator and tell them that Auto-Tune is Ruining Music. They Might just make an amendment to the US Constitution that will ban Auto-Tune. Or you can stop buying albums of artists that use Auto-Tune to tell them that they should stop using Auto-Tune. They might learn a lesson.

Thursday, April 21, 2011

Top 5 Uses For Mickie James WWE Theme

  When I was on YouTube looking at WWE entrance themes, I came across Obsession by Jim Johnston. Obsession was Mickie James' Theme when she was still in the WWE. I found the entrance music very unfitting for any WWE superstar or diva. I found it very comical music. Here are some good alternate uses for the song.
  1. Fail Videos. Now Obsession is very useful for videos of epic fails. The reason why is because the beat is very funny and it adds to the comical nature of an epic fail.
  2. Videos Of Fat People Falling. Here is another great example where Obsession would turn out great in a compilation video of fat people falling. When you have fat people falling, it's hilarious. When you add this entrance music, it adds to the comedic effect.
  3. Videos Of Fans Running On Stage. Here's another excellent use of Obsession, set this music to videos of fans running onto the stage at a concert and then proceed to get tackled by security and or bodyguards.
  4. Videos Of People Getting Hit With Something. Another good use of Obsession is using the music for videos of people getting hit with things like a football, or being kicked in the balls really hard. Nothing makes you laugh harder at someone getting kicked in the balls than it being set to unfitting music.
  5. Videos of Skateboarding Bails. Wouldn't it be funnier if the Bail videos from the Tony Hawk's Pro Skater series would use this instead of the soundtrack that they Chose? It Would be EPIC. This song has the word fail written all over it. No offense Jim Johnston, I like your work, I just think that Obsession is a wee bit to comical for a wrestling theme. It makes the wrestler with a theme like obsession look like a clutz.

Friday, April 15, 2011

I Hate It When People Wear Pajama Pants In Public

  Do you want to know what really really grinds me gears? The thing that gets on my nerves is when people wear pajama pants out in public. It's ridiculous. Nothing shows the public that you appear to be lazy. It's like when you get up in the morning, you walk out of bed and put on your shoes and go outside and go do your stuff. Try going into your nearest Walmart and take a good look around at the shoppers. A good majority of them wearing pajama pants.
Even Wacko Jacko is doing it.
   Once in a while I will go onto People of Walmart and all you would see are people in pajama pants. It shows that you don't care about your image and that you have poor taste in fashion. If the Fashion Police were real, jails would be overcrowded due to violations of the fashion laws for wearing pajama pants. I'm not saying that you should not wear them. You should, AT HOME.
   Another thing I can't stand about people who wear pajama pants is that you always see their butt crack. Ok maybe not always. Most of the time you do. People who wear pajama pants out in pubic need to be arrested by the fashion police and their wardrobe backtraced by the cyber police because when ya dun goof'd, consequences will never be the same.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

I Hate Morning Radio Shows

  When I get up in the morning to get to school, I have to drive 25 miles to get there. I leave the house Monday, Wednesday Friday at 8AM to be at school for 9AM. Now while I drive on the interstate, I can't drive without the radio being on. And at 8AM there is nothing on but morning talk shows. I freaking hate these morning radio talk shows to the point where I wish I could reach into my car radio, and slap the blabbermouth DJ's to shut the hell up. When you are on your morning commute, you don't want to hear someone talk, you'd rather listen to music because it calms you down in the morning. Well morning shows do just the opposite. Here's why I hate morning radio shows.
  1. It's mostly toilet humor. Ok here is reason number one. I don't care for 5th grade toilet humor, where they talk about farting noises on a soundboard. I don't care for crude jokes either. Most of the humor that they have is offensive and crude, or both at the same time.
  2. They don't care about playing music. Here is my biggest pet peeve out of them all. When I listen to the radio, I don't like to hear much talk, I listen to the radio to hear music. On morning radio shows, music takes a back seat. The annoying blabbermouth DJ's play like one song per 10-20 minutes of taking. That is just a guesstimate. Come on now. I want to hear music dammit, not some bonehead talking for ever. This is why I have no choice but to bring a CD in the car with me.
  3. Stupid contests. This one is pretty self explanatory, but I'll take the time to explain it to you. Here's a made up scenario, the radio station is giving away free tickets to go see Lady Gaga, the trick is, you have to be the (Insert random number here) caller to win the tickets. But the trick is that you have to be a member of the radio stations rewards club, and you are automatically entered into the drawing for the Lady Gaga tickets. Another stupid contest is win an ipad signed by Avril Lavigne, when you tell the radio station your my bad.  Stupid contests like this turn off listeners like me.
  4. Annoying on air personalities. Most of the morning radio talk show hosts are total airheads. I think that they should try to shut the hell up more often and play more freaking music. Most of the morning radio show hosts act like they are immature and don't act their age, but instead act their shoe size. Why don't they just shut up for a change. Another thing that jars me is that they never seem to let a joke die on it's own. Same humor different day.
  5. Every Show is exactly the same. You know the Nine Inch Nails song Everyday Is Exactly the Same? Well the title alone pretty much sums up a morning radio talk show. Everyday its the same bullshit, the same potty humor, the same annoying DJ's, minimal music, And did I forget to mention Talk Talk TALK TALK TALK TALK TALK, And lots and lots of commercials in between, and like 1% music if any is played. That is why 5AM to 10-11AM is a waste of time to listen to the radio. Listen to a CD.

Monday, April 11, 2011

I Hate Radio Edits

  When I was listening to the radio in the car today, Alejandro by Lady Gaga came on, this was the song that got me hooked on Lady Gaga. Anyway I happened to notice that the intro was cut out of the song, when she says I know that we are young and that you may love me, but I just can't be with you like this, Alejandro was completely cut out. I felt like the song wasn't whole without the opening intro. Earlier today I was listening to The Fame Monster in the car, where the song is in its whole form and it definitely sounded better.
  I am not bashing Lady Gaga, I like her and her music. I am pointing out the stupidity of radio edits. Here's another example of how stupid radio edits can be. Take Cee Lo Green's song Fuck You. There are a couple of different edits of this song. The most common one is simply titled Forget You. There is another edited version that I heard on the radio, and also in the TV version for the music video, where instead of saying F*** You or Forget You, it is replaced with F You. This one makes a little more sense than Forget You. Another radio edit version that I have heard of F*** You, is where the word Fuck is completely silenced. You only hear (Bleep) You and (Bleep) Her too. This one makes a little bit more sense but is stupid also.
  This leads me to my next pet peeve, Nine Inch Nails' Closer radio edit. Now hearing Closer as a radio edit is really stupid censoring the verse I want to F**k you like an animal. That's the whole point to the song. Why censor the song? It totally ruins the song, while keeping it family friendly simultaneously. I love Nine Inch Nails as much as I do love Lady Gaga. But radio edits ruin the song for me to listen to it on the radio. That's why I like to listen to CD's in the car over the radio because you get to hear them as they were intended to be heard.
  Radio edits are really pointless. One question that I ask myself from time to time is Do radio edits exist for satellite radio? The answer for me is I really don't know because I don't think it is right to pay for radio. Another factor is that I don't have satellite radio. The two 2005 Subaru Outbacks that we own do not have satellite radio. I do remember renting a car 6 years ago that had satellite radio equipped and i vaguely recall hearing a rap station that had explicit lyrics. So censorship sucks. Butchering a good song makes it worse than it is in its original form.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

I Hate Sleepy's Commercials

  Every time I watch TV, I am bound to come across a damn Sleepy's commercial. If I had a nickel for every time I see one of their commercials. Here's a better one, If I had a Dollar for every time I see a Sleepy's commercial, I'd be richer than Mark Zuckerberg. Sleepy's commercials are super annoying. They will never go away. Here's why I hate Sleepy's commercials.
  1. They are overplayed on TV. Yeah I pretty much explained that one right there. I mean these damn Sleepy's ads are played so much that they are nauseating to the point that you want to shoot your TV. You can't escape these commercials. Holy Sleepy's commercial Batman there on every channel!
  2. They're ad's won't make me by my next mattress from them. Overplaying your damn ads to the point of me vomiting, will make me go out and buy my next mattress from an independent furniture store, that does not put their ads right in front of my freaking face.
  3. What is their advertising budget? Every time I watch one of these dreadful commercials with my mom, we ponder what is their budget on advertising. Come to think of it, if you are so disgusted with Sleepy's Commercials, you probably wonder this too. They probably in my own guesstimate, I think that it is somewhere in the range of a billion dollars. Again I am only giving you my guesstimate here. It probably is somewhere in the millions. But why spend so much money on commercials that are more annoying than car insurance commercials.
  4. Every major holiday they say that they have the lowest prices of the year or season. If every season or major holiday that we celebrate has the lowest prices of the season are beaten by the prices of the next season or major holiday, Why the price change? Is it time to make up for the damn $50M you spent on the last 2 million ads? This makes no freaking sense at all. It actually bugs me. Here's what they should do, Instead of having every damn holiday have the lowest prices of the season or year, they should have the prices for the whole damn year. There ya go problem solved. No more need for stupid commercials that are broadcast every second.
  5. Everytime I look around It's In my Face. As said in the lyrics of OMC's one hit wonder How Bizarre, that pretty much explain that whatever channel you watch on TV, Sleepy's ads will be there to annoy the hell out of you. I'd rather watch a Got Milk? commercial than a Sleepy's ad. Wanna know why? Here's why, Got Milk? ads are timeless.They are funny and never get annoying like a Sleepy's ad. So now you  know why I hate Sleepy's commercials like minivans. I'll be posting more things that I hate and things that really grind my gears.

Friday, April 8, 2011

Top 8 Sesame Street News Flash Sketches

   The most hilarious Sesame Street sketches ever were Sesame Street News Flash starring Kermit the Frog. The sketches often featured Kermit interviewing fairy tale and nursery rhyme characters as well as some historical ones too. These often ended up in irony or something going wrong, or something happens to Kermit. Sesame Street never shows these sketches anymore. Its a shame because Sesame Street no longer cares about Kermit the Frog, only Elmo and Abby Cadabby. So here is my top 8 favorite News Flashes.


  Here's One that doesn't go according to tradition. Kermit reports at Rapunzel when the prince tells her to let down her hair, it turns for the worst.

      OK here is another classic example of irony and that these sketches don't follow tradition. Here you have Kermit in Wonderland and something is bound to happen.


Here is another classic example of things going wrong. Kermit is interviewing Pinocchio. In order to show how his nose grows, Kermit tells Pinocchio to tell a lie. This will ultimately backfire on Kermit.


    Here is another example of the nursery rhyme going awry. Kermit is interviewing Little Miss Muffet, who is ironically not scared of the spider that sounds a lot like Fat Albert. Guess who is scared of the spider. I won't tell you, but Where is Miss Piggy when you need her.


  Here's a tip for Kermit, Don't touch anybody it could almost lead to death.


   Here's a tip for Kermit Stay Away from Magic. The Amazing Mumford Dun Goof'd up on this trick.

   In this one Kermit try's to help Ali Baba open up the cave door of the cave of the 40 thieves with the magic S word. Kermit doesn't mind his P's and Q's and suffers the consequences. He really needs Miss Piggy to be his bodyguard.


   OK Cinderella's Fairy Godmother keeps dun goofing trying to make a dress for Cinderella. Where Is Miss Piggy when you need her? Note to Kermit, Stay Away from Magic!!!!

Thursday, April 7, 2011

I Hate Minivans

Here's your REAL minivan.
I have been waiting a very long time now to get this thing off my chest. I HATE minivans. Every time I see one of these, It makes me want to punch a hole in my bedroom wall. Minivans are annoying. Why you may ask. Well here's why. 1. They are used to pickup nose pickers. I know I know I am attacking the target audience for a minivan. That is one of the reasons why I absolutely hate minivans. Most of the parents that you see driving these monstrosities hold up traffic in one way or another and make you late for work. You see minivans are like school buses they both make you terribly late to your destination. 2. THEY CRAMP YOUR STYLE. Enough said there. 3. The third row seating is terribly cramped for a tall person. My sister owns a Honda Odyssey and I absolutely hate the third row seating. Now whenever I go to visit my sister, I have to ride in the third row with my 10 year old nephew. It's really cramped back there because there is a captains chair right up against my legs. Why can't Honda make a minivan with the second row seating half a bench seat. that will at least give some legroom to the people who have to sit in the third row. 4. They killed the whales. What I meant by whales is not the kind that live in the ocean I'm talking about Station Wagons. Yeah the minivan killed the great behemoth Station Wagon. Face it the last great American wagon was the  gas guzzler Buick Roadmaster. That would kick a minivans ass back to the drawing board any day. So Save the Whales Restore an old Full Size Station Wagon!!!!!!  
The cow speaks the Ugly Truth about minivans
5. They block the fire lanes at your local Walmart. OK when you go to find a parking space at your local Walmart, there is bound to be a pesky minivan blocking your right away to find a place to park. I mean take a good walk around your local Walmart parking lot. There are zillions of these evil machines. It's insane. Minivans are an annoyance in the Walmart parking lot or any other Parking lot out there. Where is the fire marshal to give these people a hefty fine?
6. The people who drive a minivan don't know how to drive. Have you ever had a minivan cut you off before? I bet you have. It happens to everybody. People can't drive these ugly vehicles let alone drive a school bus. I think that minivans should be banned. Another pet peeve is that minivan drivers have no courtesy for people who are walking to the store or mall, they speed out and onto the parking lot like maniacs. To top that they don't watch when they are backing up either. I've seen a minivan driver back into a shopping cart corral in the parking lot. Oops I didn't see that. That is what they'll say without checking to see their damage if any and Speed off. I freaking hate minivans and their drivers.

Monday, April 4, 2011

What I Found in the Dollar Store Again

     Today I went to the Dollar store with my mom. While mom was looking at birthday cards, I decided to look at the books. Upon looking at the books that nobody seems to care about, I spotted a book that made me laugh hysterically. The book was titled How to Survive Bird Flu. Does anyone even remember the Bird Flu? I think that we have all forgotten about that. Anyway Seeing a book about surviving a major epidemic seems to be ironic that a what I like to call a "Fad Scare" book.
     To me this book is more of a joke like a book on how to survive the Y2K bug if anyone still even remembers that. Books that are written to scare someone into actually buying a book on surviving the Bird Flu are just get rich quick schemes. This isn't the 1950s where we should be scared of a Soviet nuclear attack. You see in 1918 when there was a flu epidemic this book would have sold like hotcakes. Now when you publish a book on how to survive the Bird Flu nobody gives a hoot about it, and you sell like maybe 5 copies. I wasn't going to waste my hard earned Dollar plus 6% PA sales tax on a 80 page book on a dead topic. See nobody cares about the bird flu epidemic anymore.